April 10th, 2006
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Glorietta Exposed!
Posted by kryos at 05:17 AM on April 10, 2006 as a stickied post.
Isang araw nang pauwi na ako galing sa trabaho, napadaan ako sa
glorietta. Eh dun naman talaga ang daan ko e. Medyo gabi narin
nun, hindi ko na alam kung anong oras pero sarado na ang ibang
mga store sa loob ng glorietta. Then napansin ko sa may Penshoppe
na may sale na lonta (pantalon) at yoyo (relo) so tinignan ko.
Whoa! From 1,500 pesoses e 500 nalang. Ayus to bargain na.
Syempre ako naman decided nakong bilin, so sinukat ko. Hinubad ko
na ang aking lonta tapos nung isasampay ko na sana e napansin ko
na wala palang sabitan so ano pa magagawa natin mga repapips
kundi isampay sa may pinto, hindi naman tayo tanga diba ehehe.
Bising busy ako kakatingin sa wepaks (pwet) ko, tinitignan ko ang
ganda ng sukat! Kaso pucha me humablot ng pantalon ko na
nakasabit sa pinto, syempre ekskyerda na agad ako. Sinabotahe na
ko e. Lagot sakin tong mga sales ladies na to. Baka akala nila na
wala ng tao. Siguro magsasara narin sila kaya nagliligpit na ng mga
kalat (lonta ko? kalat?). Paglabas ko, WALA! E saan na yun. Sinilip
ko agad sa labas at baka iba ang kumuha. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Ayan
na sunod-sunod na kamalasan na ang dumating. Nag-alarm ung
ewan ko ba, ung detector sa pinto. Pano ba naman suot suot ko
pa ung pantalon nila e may tag pa un e. Halos himatayin ako sa
nerbyos. Pero ako pa. Daanin ko nalang sa galit. Shall we? "Boss
bibilhin nyo ba yang pantalon" sabi nung sales lady na lalake,
ehehehe. "Uu naman kaso may kumuha ng pantalon ko, nakita nyo
ba?" Tangna parang hindi naniniwala sakin ah. "Bayaran nyo nalang
sir o balik nyo nalang". Gago ba sya? Ano uuwi akong naka-brief
lang? Pano ko babayaran e ang wallet ko nasa lonta ko.
Pinagpawisan nako ng malaming. Pucha bat ba naman kase hindi ko
pa dinala ung celfon ko? Pati mga credit cards ko nandun din sa
wallet ko. Pambihira! Ang Lufettttt! "Eh Sir tatawagin ko nalang po
ung security namen". Dapat lang diba, pucha ninakawan na nga ako
e. So dinala nila ako dun sa office nila, ewan ko ha kung office nga
ba nila un. Malapit yun sa sinehan. One way mirror yun.
"Eh Sir bayaran nyo nalang". Isa ka pang makulit! Wala nga akong
pera! "Bayaran nyo po ng doble yan kung ayaw nyo pong
makasuhan kayo ng shoplifting". AH? ano ka sira? Gusto nyong pag-
untugin ko kayo lahat dito. Anak ako ng Colonel baka gusto nyong
samain kayong lahat? "Patingin nga po ng ID nyo sir". Ah eh. Wala
dito ngayon e. "Sir tawagan nalang po natin ang tatay nyo sa
bahay para ma-backupan nya kayo." Oh my gulay, TAMA! Me utak
rin pala kayo. So dial...... Sige na! Puchang utol ko naka-online na
naman ata. Aysus UU nga. 12Pm hanggang 4am ung internet card
nya. Kung sa celfon nman hindi ko kabisado ang numero. Nak ng!
Badtrip talaga! Eh sir wala e. "Ganito nalang Boss! Isuot nyo na tong
plate nato." Binasa ko ang nakasulat. "Shoplifter". Kailangan daw un
sa record nila na may picture daw sila ng mga nahuhuli nila. "What
me? Shoplifter?". Oh no!
Hayyyyyyyyy. Sige na nga. Pucha hahaba lang tong usapan nato.
Bukas makikita nyo, babalik ako at yare kayong lahat. So sinabit na
nila sa leeg ko ung plate tapos nilabas na nila ako. "Ha?". E boss
bakit sa labas pa? Dito nalang.
Eh sir dun talaga sa may fountain sa gitna ng Glorietta kayo
kukunan para hindi pamarisan. Inakupo! Kakahiya. Swerte pa nga
daw ako kase wala ng mga tao kasi gabi na. Meron nga daw silang
nahuli na pinichuran nila duon sa harap ng maraming tao.
Napakalufet nyo naman pala bosing! Maluhaluha nako sa galit.
Pinipigil ko nalang. So nung nasa fountain na kame at handa na ang
posing ko. Ready One..Two..
Hoy gago kunan mo na ko para makaalis nako sa lecheng lugar nato.
THREE! Click.
FLASH.
Titit-titit-titit. Alarm clock ko. 7:00 na ng umaga. Tangna buti
nalang panaginip lang.
Ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhe.
Asar ka?
March 5th, 2008
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Dear Husband
Posted by kryos at 01:55 PM on March 5, 2008.
Dear Husband,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years
and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks
have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had
quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal
and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me
anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're
cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the
case is, I'm gone.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I
are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,
although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant
nagging. Too bad that didn't work. I did notice when you
cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came
to mind was "You look just like a man!"
My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say
anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to
sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because
the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars
from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to
Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything
happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life
you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed
Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother
was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
October 26th, 2007
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Pinoy Thriller
Posted by kryos at 06:48 AM on October 26, 2007 as a favorite post.
Ano ang nasa dakong paroon? Bunga ng malikot na pag-iisp, likha ng balintataw o halaw, sa daigdig ng kababalaghan, di mo kayang ipaliwanag ngunit alam mong magaganap. awuuuuuooo.. papataum ba... hummm.. papataumba....
September 28th, 2007
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Posted by kryos at 07:32 AM on September 28, 2007.
"As we look out into the universe and identify the many accidents of physics and astronomy that have worked to our benefit, it almost seems as if the universe must in some sense have known that we were coming."
July 5th, 2007
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NAMRIA 20th Anniv.
Posted by kryos at 02:47 AM on July 5, 2007.
iceman: Eto ka pre! ..I.. Ur d 1 hu is kadiri kaya. Ur lyk mga katutubong orcs pre.
showman: Kau nga un eh. Alam mu pre mga orcs kc pinasali nyo kaya you lost pare:
iceman: Its so kafal kya ng mga contractual orcs making sali pa s contest, with matching katutubo dance pa n katutubo face. So yuck!
showman: Whatever.. Ur team is kadiri, its so disgusting... dancing gurang na mga orcs with matching gay katutubo... and the dance was so corny... how i wish i just close my eyes rather than watching the stupidiest thing ive even seen in my entire lyf pare.. and the pyramid doesnt make sense at all.
iceman: ders dis 1 orc pare make patong s kapwa orc nya tapos sabay sayaw ng katutubo dance, it make me duwal my guts out kaya. Super yaki that orc tlga.
showman: The point is... that team won pare, you know naman.. they make lampaso other katutubo orcs especially the gurang ones with the pyramid props... and the 2 orcs pare who handled the pyramid.. theyre so yaki.. theyve been exposed to the sunlight pare.. there's pawis wet their whole face... its so kadiri tlaga.
iceman: 1 thng i dnt undrstnd p pre, ung drink pa cla ng poso water.. whats up wit dat? Yuck. They mke kalat lng ung bote s ground... then dress up like metro aide... I wanna commit suicide na nga e. Wana make hampas ng dos pos dos ung mga orcs na un, gunting ko mga bayag, pakain sa mga dogs.
showman: Haller! The dance was cool pare noh.. A pure katutubo orc will not understand it.. Good thing the judges were only half orc.
iceman: Cool? Init kya? I make kwen2 pa dis orc ha... hilig make sampa pa sa kapwa orc nya.. how i wish he make backdive na para he make bagok na with matching kisay pa. Un bagay s mga orcs. I'll make boto pa sa kanya. his kisay is much better than his dance kya. Much better p bakal can make baliko... yung orc tlaga super tigas katawan.
showman: Just admit it pare theyve won because their dance was much better than the orcs pare.. even the audience were amazed with their performance para.. thats why they won pare... i just cant understand why an orc txting me now cnt appreciate it pare.. maybe hes jst dissapointed with their team gurang orcs ang gay katutubo dance pare.. i cnt even call it a dance pare... its just a waste of time pare... and they were so dumb pare....
iceman: were living in an orc country kc kaya nanalo mga orcs din.
showman: uu ganun na nga pare.. ska an orc make galit to kapwa orcs din thats why the gurang orcs didnt win the contest pare because of the orc judges pare.
iceman: to hell with all the orc dancers pare.
iceman: no pare. Theyre no orcs kaya. They stayed at the back nga para d maka mingle sa masa of orcs pero unfortunately 1 kadiri orc with katutubo juice ng pawis make akbay s kanila. gross pare. it makes me baliktad my sikmura.
June 5th, 2007
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Alda Horario
Posted by kryos at 08:06 AM on June 5, 2007.
http://ghost-ice9.deviantart.com/
June 4th, 2007
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ay hanep!
Posted by kryos at 01:49 AM on June 4, 2007.
nakita kita, ang ganda mo
tinawag kita, lumapit ka nman
inalok kta ng drink, syempre pumayag ka
ng-usap tyo, nagtawanan
ngbiruan, sbi mo babatse k muna
isip ko bka sumakit tyan mu
hnintay kta, d kna bumalik
oo nga pla bnigay mo skin
ang number mo, tnwgan kta
d ka nman sumasagot, ay hanep!
hirap tlga mkisama s mga GRO.
May 22nd, 2007
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raised by wolves
Posted by kryos at 08:05 AM on May 22, 2007.
Raised by wolves I knew no bounds; life was good with the wild hounds. I'm tame now, living in walls but I fight the urge to lick my balls.
May 9th, 2007
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Death Note
Posted by kryos at 06:13 AM on May 9, 2007.
